>  Sex and Love   >  Dating Again After A Toxic Relationship

Hola Bebecitos,

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good day to you all! Ugh, I have been so stressed lately that I haven’t had the focus to sit down and write. Regardless, I had some time today so I wanted to write a little blog post for you guys.

The other day, I had told you guys to hit me up on Instagram with topics to write about for my blog. The reception was great and you guys gave me some really good suggestions for blog posts which led me to write this one… getting back into dating when you feel like your heart is closed off!

Now, I’ve definitely had my fair share of fugazzi relationships because #MenAreTrash or whudeva so I’ll definitely try my best to give you some helpful advice.

Discover Your Inner Ananda

Okay, to be fair, you’re probably wondering what the Hell “ananda” is and I don’t blame you. It’s a yoga term that stems from Hindu philosophy and it basically translates to “divine joy”, or “bliss”. Listen, heartbreak sucks and you’re going to be sad. You’re not going to want to date ever again, you might become a little irrational, you’ll swear off men or women, and you’re going to want to mope around all day.

But that’s okay, bebecito. It’s okay to be sad and heartbroken and hate the world for a bit. Eventually though, you need to pick yourself up. So that’s why I suggest finding your inner peace and there are many ways to do so. Hang out with your friends, turn up, work out, take up a hobby, etc. Basically, distract yourself by doing things you enjoy.

Do things that you used to love doing but might not have had time for anymore due to getting into a relationship. Do things that make you see the beauty of life and that make you want to get up in the morning. Do things that spark your inner joy and that remind you why life is worth living to the fullest, single or not.

Seriously, Stop Looking For Love

I know, this sounds clich√© as fuck but you’re not going to end up forever alone just because this one person broke your heart. Post-breakup, you might start to feel a little desperate and like you’ll never find love so chances are, you’ll either throw yourself at the first person you meet or you’ll keep going back to your ex. Both of these scenarios suck because these people will take advantage of your vulnerability.

Legit, my biggest key to getting over an ex is out of sight, out of mind. I focus on myself, I mind my business, and I don’t hit up my ex until I’m 100% sure that I’m no longer interested. If a part of you wonders if you’ll ever get back together, you’re not over him. Nothing good comes from hitting up a toxic ex. You know it, I know it so please, save yourself the heartbreak. He’s not the one and you’ll move on if you give it time. Repeat after me, OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND!

Now, I’ll say this with my chest and I’ll say it once, FOCUS ON YOURSELF! Relationships are very time consuming so it’s easy to lose yourself within one. What better time than when you’re single to focus on yourself and become a better version of you? Learn to be happy while alone and teach yourself to not be dependent of others for happiness. It’ll be hard but as I previously mentioned, taking up activities that will allow you to distract yourself should help.

When you go looking for love, you’re bound to get hurt because you can’t force love. You can’t force yourself to get over your ex and fall for someone else. Truly and honestly, you’ll find someone when the time is right and when you’re least expecting it. The Universe works in mysterious ways so the energy you put out there is the energy you’ll receive. Positivity, self-respect, and self-love will be reciprocated back to you if you choose to engulf yourself in those traits.

Baby, We All Got Trust Issues

Not to All Lives Matter this but if your last relationship gave you trust issues, I promise you, you’re not alone. Hell, I don’t even trust men yet I can’t get enough of them… Just ask my ex! But on a serious note, just because your ex was an ain’t shit nigga or bitch does not mean that every single person you’re romantically interested in will be the same.

What’s that quote about trust being like a mirror? *Ahem*, “trust is like a mirror; you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection”. Okay soo, that quote doesn’t lie and in all honesty, I advise you to keep your guards up when meeting new people to avoid rushing into another toxic situation. However, do not confuse being guarded with insecurity.

In fact, this is why I suggest taking time to heal yourself and to learn to love the single life. The last thing you want to do is project your insecurities from old relationships onto new people. Straight up, don’t be that guy. Deal with your own shit before you fuck up someone else’s because you rushed into the first thing that came your way.

Yea, Life’s A Bitch But What Can You Do?

Now, last but not least, you just need to accept your situation. Someone you thought you would end up with turned out to be Mr/Mrs Wrong and well, your relationship with them was less than ideal. But tell me, now that it’s over, are you just going to sit there and mourn something that, in the grand scheme of things, didn’t really make you happy or wasn’t meant for you? Bebecito, life is far too short to sit around crying over someone that couldn’t respect you, make time for you, support you, or whatever your scenario is.

With that being said, don’t internalize your feelings and like… not cry. Go watch every J.Lo romcom and cry for an entire weekend. Trust me, I’ve been there because sometimes you just want to be a depressed ass bitch. However, I can almost guarantee you that that person is not crying over you, especially if they’re the one that left. So, once you’re done crying and feeling sorry for yourself, go live your best life; accept that not everyone you meet is meant to stay in your life forever.

Yes baby, acceptance is key. Time heals errrthang.

If all else fails, stream Lemonade.

Xoxo, la foca.

Always pimpin, never simpin, baby!

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