I hope you’re having a fabulous Wednesday. Today is pay day for me so I’m feeling great although I’m super tired and I’m PMSing so I’m sore all over.
That said, while lost in my day dreams, I started thinking about cheaters. I have no clue why because to my knowledge, I’ve never been cheated on and I’ve never *technically* cheated. The other day, however, I was watching a video on YouTube about some girl who was telling the stories of the times she was the other woman and her justification for being in that position really resonated with me.
She said, “I don’t feel bad about having been the other woman because if they were meant to be, he wouldn’t have ever cheated”. Now, I’m not saying what she did was right and I’m not defending her actions but when we look at the whole Jordyn, Tristan, and Khloe situation that went down recently, Khloe received a lot of backlash for placing the blame of the end of her relationship on Jordyn as opposed to Tristan. But it’s true. No one can steal someone without that person willingly choosing to go.
Back to what I was saying though, the whole “meant to be” topic, let’s talk about that. If you and your significant other are truly, wholeheartedly meant for each other, then your relationship will be seamless, it’ll just work. Couples fight but there’s a fine line between petty arguments and a toxic situation. When someone makes the decision to cheat on you, that means they had time to think about their actions, they knew what they were doing, and they agreed to be put in that position. A person who wants to be with you will not put themselves in a situation to lose you.
With that being said, I know how hard it is to leave someone you love, especially over something that seems so minuscule in the grand scheme of things. However, that’s where self-respect and knowing your worth come into play. There’s nothing that can justify cheating, nothing. Not a rough patch, not alcohol, not temptation, nothing, and the bond you have with that person will be tainted the second they choose to lay with someone else. Things will never be the same. You may get over it but you’ll never forget it.
I know you’re probably saying to yourself, “well what if they change?” And hey, you’re not wrong, people do change but that one slip up will forever fuck with your relationship no matter how hard they try to prove themselves. I’m going to try to explain this in simple terms. So, your significant other cheats, you threaten to leave, and they promise they’ll change. One of two scenarios usually happen, either you stay and they realize you’re easy because nothing they do will make you leave (ahem, Khloe and Tristan) or you really threaten to leave but you end up staying and they realize what they almost lost so they start to act right. We’ll talk about the second scenario since we all know what happens in the first.
Okay, so second scenario, you stay and your partner starts to act right. This facade can only last for so long. You know the saying, you only realize what you have when it’s gone? Well once you get whatever you lost back, you’re only impressed by its’ novelty for so long before you get bored of it the same way you did in the first place. This is what happens when a cheater decides to change their ways and act right for the person they cheated on. The reason why it won’t work long term is because the novelty wears off; they clearly weren’t feeling you all the way the first time around so what difference is it going to be the second time around? Or the third? Or the fourth? And so on just because they *almost* lost you. This has more to do with your compatibility than the love you have.
If you do choose to stay in a relationship with a cheater, I can almost guarantee that there will be trust issues and your relationship will never go back to what it once was so save yourself the misery and leave. I don’t want to come off all preachy, though. Love can almost feel like a drug and there’s a sort of withdrawal you feel when the person you thought would always be by your side betrays you. However, whether or not you relapse by staying in a relationship with someone who has cheated on you is ultimately your choice.
I just know it couldn’t be me and it will never be me.
If you disagree with me or have any questions, please feel free to drop a comment below or message me directly!
PS, I’m not judging you if you do choose to take back a cheating ex. Love’s a fucked up thing! Just remember to put yourself first and take care of YOU before anyone.