Why I’m Definitely Not Going To Caribana This Year

Why I’m Definitely Not Going To Caribana This Year

Hey bebecitos,

I hope all is good! I’ve been so busy lately and not only that but I’ve been suffering from a serious case of writer’s block. I just haven’t had any inspiration or will to write but I miss my blog so hi.

Today, I’m going to talk about Caribana. Now, everyone that’s been to Caribana knows how fun it can be. If you haven’t been or you live under a rock, Caribana is a yearly festival that takes place over the first August long weekend in Toronto. It’s aim is to celebrate Caribbean culture and music as well as the various Caribbean communities living in Toronto. The event has gotten so popular over the years that celebrities and athletes from all over the world show up and show out over the course of the weekend. 

Basically, anybody who’s somebody is going to Caribana. It’s to the point where Ottawa becomes a desert town every first August weekend, every year. 

But, I’m not going.

And you might ask yourself why the Hell I’m not going. I mean it’d be the perfect opportunity to get content for the blog and YouTube, it’s a fun time, sexy niggas from the US come, and hellluurrrr… celebrities. Also, everyone knows I’m a party animal so these events are my jam and I don’t care how broke I am, I’ve made it every single year without fail.

That time we met Jeremih

Buuuut, I’m grown now, meemaw. I’m hella tired and broke and I want to buy a house and that weekend is just so cot damn expensive. Caribana is most definitely a great time and I’d recommend it to anyone in a heartbeat but it’s just not for me anymore. Like, I’ve been going every year since I was underage and didn’t even have a fake to get in the clubs. I was there before Daylit was even a thing (if you know, you know). I was there BEFORE I WAS A CARDI B STAN AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS OUTSIDE OF THE CLUB SHE WAS PERFORMING AT, I DIDN’T EVEN GO IN. Whew, the regrets.

Now, there are many actual reasons why I don’t want to go. For example, unless you’re in mas, there’s no point in going to the parade unless you want to suffer from heatstroke, dehydration, and hunger. The clubs are HELLA overpriced – I’m talking $80 cover fee just because some Z-list rapper is inside the club. And, personally, and I really mean it when I say this a personal opinion, but I hate dancehall. Ok, I don’t hate it but I hate it when it’s the only thing playing all day and all night long. Like, por favor, dame some variety peepaw. All in all, from my perspective, Caribana has lost its’ novelty. I’ll put it this way, you know how people who live in LA don’t give a fuck about Coachella unless they’re an influencer? That’s how I feel – I just don’t care no mo’.

Back when I enjoyed going yearly, sigh.

All this to say that for the same price it would’ve cost me to go to Toronto during Caribana weekend, I managed to get a flight and hotel in New York City, baby. I already know I’m going to be saving so much money and I’m probably going to have a way better time. I’m feeling a little FOMO but I know I’ll be aight.

For all those going to Caribana, I wish you luck. Catch a bubble for me. Don’t forget to drink water, use condoms, and wear sunscreen.

Much love.

Xoxo, sealie


Always pimpin, never simpin, baby!

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